S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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