so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize