but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your penis caused this!
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