Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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