he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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