do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
