Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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