He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
