yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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