apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my liver is dry heaving
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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