new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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