Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
