My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
