I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
