do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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