ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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