I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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