I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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