How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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