how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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