Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize