3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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