I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
