***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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