Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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