Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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