Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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