You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
