I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
