There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
