just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
