Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
