There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Randomize
