Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
