before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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