if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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