O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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