It's like God shit irony all over that family
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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