just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
