He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
