Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
