Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
