At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
