he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
