I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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