I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
