I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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