I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
