belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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