I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
