Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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