I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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