His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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