his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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