I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
