OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
