i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
