i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
