Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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