Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Sober January is a disaster.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.

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(407): View more from Florida

Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in

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(315): View more from New York

Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

(303): View more from Colorado

Glad to hear you raised your standards

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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(433): View more from

Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.

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(716): View more from New York

Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..

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