Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
